What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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why did Sarah fall out of the swing? she had no arms. Knock knock. who's there? not Sarah.

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What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

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Why did the man think he was hungry? Answer: Because his brain told that he needed to Eat or he was going to be really hungry. Made by eli

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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Jimmy has nine bags of sugar. He eats nine bags of sugar. What doeshe have now? Diabetes

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

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Your mom went to college

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What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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