Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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Roses are blue Violets are red What happened to the gay man? He listened to Justin Beiber And then was straight

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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Whats worse than your house on fire? an orphanage catching on fire. Whats wosre than an orphanage catching on fire? A bunny farm catching on fire.

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Kid hands Lebron a dollar, asks for change Lebron hands him back 4 quarters.

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a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

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Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

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You should read the Terms of Service.

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A black guy pulls into a KFC drive thru and orders some chicken. The cashier tells him that they are out of chicken, so the black goes to McDonald's instead.

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

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What is green and fuzzy and when it falls from a tree, your dead? A pool table.

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A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

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What does an otter and a pencil sharpener have in common? They both feature in this joke

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE?!?

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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Japan

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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