Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench. The bucket.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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What's the difference between your wife and the kitchen? One is a living organism

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A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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Diarrhea

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops