Knock knock. Get out!!

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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A blind man walks into a library.

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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It got hit by a rocket.

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You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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