(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

The man was driving down the road at an opropriat speed and got t-boned. The women in the other car got out and tried to help the man but the man was already out of the car and call 911

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

thumb_up thumb_down -31

So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a black doctor? Ehh...

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

69

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a bear. Rob.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops