roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb. One

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +27

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops