What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a lamp?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

BBW BABY IS THE BEST BETTER THAN THE REST WELL EXCEPT MILF BABY. SUBSCRIBE TO BigHDGuns

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops