what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

What is funnier then 25 9/11

Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

Black people in Camden NJ.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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