How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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can you touch your toes? no

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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find the mistake in this sentence: Sadam Hussein: "hello" mistake: Sadam Hussein said hello!

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what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

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So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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What is black and white and red all over? A multi-racial orphan who has recently suffered a fatal stab wound to a major artery.

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting black lady. wha....... ehmmm hmmmm!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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