When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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someone jumped off a bridge he died

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One time, I called the police, but it was actually a fire. So my neighbors died.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

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what did the lesbian do with the other lesbian? played badminton

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Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

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A man walks into a bar. He suffers a fatal concussion and the playground is shut down by local police until proper padding is installed.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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