whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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Why did the parents order the 16 year old daughter to move out of Virginia? Because she lost her virginity

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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wanna hear a dirty joke? ...trashcan

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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