Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

thumb_up thumb_down -23

okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

thumb_up thumb_down -23

a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If I became the president of the U.S.A I would change our national animal from eagle to smeagle. Like this if you agree. By Adam Chebali

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the man crossed the busy road? Because he was sick of life.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Kameron Brown is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your roommate, I forgot my keys.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Science debated on whether Dinosaur hide was like leather But though quite absurd They thought, like a bird Velociraptor was covered in feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops