whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer,

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Once a upon a time there were three kittens that die, the end :D

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A woman asked a man in an elevator, "Did you fart?" The man honestly replied, "Yes. I didn't expect you to notice because it was the puffy kind."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why can't white kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get soap in their mouths Why can't black kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get a beating until their butts turn black and blue and they'll start crying in pain

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock-knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why didn't the parachute open? nevermind

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Like this if you have a big diick like me Dislike if you have a baby diick Ignore if you're a girl and get back in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I was going to write about anti-climaxes but then I didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops