Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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Roses are red Violets are blue Start running Cuz ima F*** you Runn Forest Runn! Jubie

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What does it mean when somebody is Jewish? They eat palahuardo por sinquevos for breakfast. Qua.

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Why couldn't little Billy fall asleep. Because Billy didn't have any counting skills to be able to coins sheep

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. He's not really a chicken, he's just called a chicken because he is always afraid.

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In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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Get 100,000 Twitter Followers for $49.99 at Ladsta.com today!

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Yo mama's so ugly, She cured cancer.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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