What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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Roses are red Violets are fine I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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Besides the kama-sutra, what is the most popular sex position in India? 68 and 88. Moral: Mutation people... mutation... use your imagination.., Still gotta feel a bit of envy/admiration, it is known as the happiest nation of the world, with a happiness rate with a constant well over 80 percent, and that is FAR over any other nation.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

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I would tell you a joke about a pencil but there would be no point.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

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How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

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How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

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How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

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What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops