What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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a person who will soon die of beeties

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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knock knock come in

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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Who would be an amazing GOP VP? Chris Christie -Mitt Romney

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could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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Roses are red Violets are black Why is your chest as flat as your back?

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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