Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than dropping your ice cream cone Your dad having brian cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your Mom The End.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -8

yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

thumb_up thumb_down -8

roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the young boy cross the road? because his dad beats him due to alcoholism and his mother is a crack whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops