Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

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Why was the butcher bald? He was undergoing intensive chemotherapy.

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What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

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DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

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Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

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A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

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Blacks

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Your mom.

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wat is osama bin ladin's favorite sport grenade catch

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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