A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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who is really lanky? james cornish

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whats the difference between blue and green? there different colours.

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Thank you for flying Buzzy Fly Airlines. Today we'll be flying around Uranus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it got stuck at a red light, it waited 5 minutes before getting frustrated and leaving. Later that day the chicken realized that it had forgotten to press the button.

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Why is Apple so successful? Well, that is not a question that can be answered simply. Many factors are involved in this, including but not limited to marketing, customer support, and smart business strategy. For more information, please visit Apple's website.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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An elderly lady walks into a grocery store, and nothing of a great significance happens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops