why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

thumb_up thumb_down

A man and his wife are disagreeing about what type of car to get. The wife continously nags him about getting her something that will go from 0-200 in 4 seconds, so he gets her a scale and buys himself a truck, 1 min later an abulance is called because the wife hit the husband with his new car.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats worse than finding a worm in apple? being chased by retards

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

thumb_up thumb_down

What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

thumb_up thumb_down

your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

thumb_up thumb_down

A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down

A fat man walked into a hot dog.

thumb_up thumb_down

Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

thumb_up thumb_down

How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

thumb_up thumb_down

roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

thumb_up thumb_down

red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

thumb_up thumb_down

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The man continues to order a drink when he realises the comment was directed at the elephant standind behind him.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops