A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

Q. Why did the car break dance? A. I dont know!

How many Hairdressers does it take to change a lightbulb. Usually one.

Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

The Joke Below

Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 8 9. I'm just counting

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Why was the boy drinking toilet water? Because he was receiving a violent swirly. He then went home and killed himself.

How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

Q:What did the Hulk say before the bartender refused to serve him further drinks? A: HULK SMASHED! Moral: "THE MORE DRUNK THE HULK GETS! BLURRIER HIS VISION BECOMES! HULK IS THE BLURRIEST THERE IS!"

My Mom was strutting down the runway. Then she got trampled by a plane.

how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

Father "Why so down son?" Son "I've always been this short..."

What's worse than a gay joke? Their emotional repercussions, leading to a lack of self-esteem, which eventually drives the homosexual to commit suicide, leaving behind a now destroyed family.

Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

How does a guy with no arms kill himself? It's called murder.

I have cancer. And you're next.

penis

A man sets his house on fire. His wife comes home, what did she ask? Why'd you set the house on fire?

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor! why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. why did the farmer cross the road? To get his chicken. Why didnt the farmer make it to the other side? He was hit by his tractor.