I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do so many people like writting really bad anti jokes? Said Santa Claus

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what dyu call a jew on the moon? a problem. what dyu call ten jews on the moon? a bigger problem. what dyu call all the jews on the moon? problem solved.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? Cindy your neighbor. I was wondering if I could borrow some milk, I ran out.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's there? There's a peephole on your door why don't you go ahead and look

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops