What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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