Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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Feminism

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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Knock, Knock Come in

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What's the difference between chili and a urologist? One is hot and spicy and the other analyzes urine.

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How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

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why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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You bumder!

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2 persons in an elevator then, one guy says: dude! smells like your sister! and the other guy is not there

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

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What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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