Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

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What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

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Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

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Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

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Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

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Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

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A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

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jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

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One guy asks another guy, "Why did the sleeping man get sucked into the sinkhole?" The other guy replies, "I don't know, I heard about that a few months ago, it seems highly improbable statistically. "

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops