A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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Q Whats Yellow, Has a body, And has a Spiky head ? A a pineapple

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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why did jimmy loose the bike race. because he never entered.

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Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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no im only tryin to keep it real like a broken peice of cheese.

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what did the fart say to the butt........bye

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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What do you call a black person living in the US? An African American.

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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A man walks into the bar and ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. He drinks the vodka.

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Why did the man sit on the chair? Because he was tired of standing

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A white guy a black guy and a mexican are in a car and the car crashes and blowes up who dies? They all die cuz they all were in the car when it blew up

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Person 1:"Knock Knock" Person 2: Whos there.... Wait why did you literally say the words "Knock Knock" Person 1: I have no idea

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Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops