Roses are red Violets are blue What about pansies

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Q: why are you gay A: because your physically attracted to the same sex

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

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a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

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Women's rights.

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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What's better than eating an orange? Anal sex with Kim Kardashian.

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops