how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Screw it you write the joke.

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Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

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How do you keep a blond in suspense?

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is theoretically impossible to read another's inner thought process, but it was probably due to the electric stimulation from the brain to give the chicken's muscles the ability to move.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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"Do you know the joke about the No and Me Neither?" "No..." "Me neither."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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Kys

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When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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