Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

whats black and strange a paki

Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

A large commercial airliner is piloted toward inner-city New York. The plane is driven into the World Trade Center by a terrorist. The United States will now issue a holiday to mourn all we have lost in this tragic event.

What's Black/White and red all over? Obama when he gets a little flustered.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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