The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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black chicken. kfc

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A guy walks into a bar with a Donkey and a jar full of pennies. He walks up to the bartender and orders ten shots of whiskey. He was found dead the next morning from erotic asphyxiation.

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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Penis

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What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have alziemers banana cookie!

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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What did the mentally disabled child say to the snowman? Mnnghhhmuhmuhhu ooh ooh ooh!

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

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What happens when your read this? you don't laugh

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for x-mas a bike

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

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A: go away. B: No i won't A: Shutup B: Yes i will not go away A: again, shutup B: I left A: Thank you B: Your welcom A: Thank you for saying your welcome B: Thank you for saying thank you that i'm welcome A: Thank you for saying thank you for saying that I thank you that you're welcome.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

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What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops