Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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Yo mama is so fat, she needs to get serious about her diet, or else she might die of some sort of weight related issue.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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Person1: Have you heard about the girraffe who doesn't eat Georgia peaches? Person2: yes. Person1: Oh, never mind then.

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

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You're Mom is Dead She was killed by a Grammer Nazi for me misspelling Your

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

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What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

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A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

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What did the boy without arms get in his Christmas present? A pair of gloves. Just kidding, he didn't open it yet.

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A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

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why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

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Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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