What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

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Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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A black man walks out of a police station

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Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

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What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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A Muslim on a plane yells out "Hijack!" Jack replies with "Hello" and the two engage in a casual conversation for the duration of the flight.

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Did you hear about the man who went up into space without a space suit? He died.

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I was raped oh no he's coming HELP ahhhhhhhhfkaek.k.k.k.k.k.k. vmruieao3 vxm v

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Noideer! No.Blind What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still Noideer! No, it's basically dead

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Which does does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

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What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

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test test

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Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

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Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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