once i was a dog and u were a flower........... i raised my leg and gave u a shower :)

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

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Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

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Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

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A goose walks into a bar. Maybe he should have ducked.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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(joker) Do you like fishsticks? (recipient) "No" (any response from the joker at this point qualifies as anti joke)

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Why couldn't the Jeffersons adopt a black baby? Their fireplace was empty.

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What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

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OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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Its true, he didnt write that!!

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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Why couldn't the Asian man speak in chinese? He never learned chinese

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem about Red rosses and blue violets

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what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

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You: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries? Person: A towel?! You: No, an aquaphilian woman drying off a car ;)

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A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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