Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

What do you call an black man on the moon. An astronaut you racist bastard

What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

roses are red violets are blue my name is kate boyd im gay

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken?

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies on fire and a pile of living babies on fire? The dead babies are usually not as loud.

Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to get the antidote for his dying baby chick.

A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

What do you call a Mexican without any arms or legs? A bean.

What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To cause global mayhem.

How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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