Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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what's the difference between Michael Jackson and Acne? Acne is a skin problem caused by chemical imbalance usually found in teenagers. Michael Jackson was a singer and dancer who should've been able to escape tasteless jokes upon his death.

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because, unfortunately, he is blind, prohibiting him from reading anything other than brail. He is, however, an excellent musician.

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LIKE FOR GANGNAM STYLE. DISLIKE FOR JUSTIN BIEBER LETS SEE WHO WINS

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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whats worse than war? being tied to a chair and watch your parents die.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get slaughtered.

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What did the resently released criminal get for his birthday? a nice sweater

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A man driving through a thunderstorm said, "look, it's rain, dear." His wife, being a reindeer, took offense to that statement.

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Whats tha difference between blacktop and an airplane wing??? Well, alot. I bet you knew that.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

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Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

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If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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