how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Connor is homosexuaI

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Why did the man take off his pants A: because they were uncomfortable to sit in

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how many tentacles did the mentally retarded octopus have? answer: 8!

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How high is the sky? True or False

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Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

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Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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Q: Why was the little girl upset? A: Because she drank a window cleanser, causing her vital organs to shut down, ending in a slow, painful, death.

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Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

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Small Penis.

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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