What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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So i can type anything in this box and it shows up on the website?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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So a woman goes to the doctor for an ultra-sound. The doctor says I have good news. The woman inquisitively replies what is it doctor, the doctor replies ; Your baby is Dead.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

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Roses are red Violets are fine I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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