- Anti Joke

John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

Obama

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast