It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

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Q:Why did the old man die? A:Because he had Cancer in his hole body.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ........ It turns out it was Helen Keller.

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I have a friend named David. He then lost his ID, now we called him Dav

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A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men". So he reveals a big penis and they have sex there and then.

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Rylan Clark

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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name one pop artist who's better than Michael Jackson that's really hard. there's so many

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Regarding the "I will violate you, your children and your parent if you thumb me red" comment belo. I had a green thumb, I know because I gave it to myself because I am awesome... Now I got none... I person that this this, I cannot wait to X-mas where I will be violating them all, tell them, and as thus remind you that this was their Christmas present from you... Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: Yes, I am your neigbor... I cant wait for slot number 24 on my christmas calendar... There is a picture of you and your family... Yummy!

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why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

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Tim likes girls

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Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

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Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

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AIDS

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My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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