How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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don't just stand there

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

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why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

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Obama

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops