Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? After looking both ways many times, repeatedly, to make sure there was absolutely no element of possible danger, he concluded that his best option was the cross the road.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Girls Lacrosse.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue These are your Results You have Cancer

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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What did the angry asian man do after he crashed his car? He died of serious head trauma and internal bleeding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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