Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Q: Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and a rich mexican jump out of the plane at the same time. Who hit the ground first? A: The answer is none of the above, because they don't exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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Whats the difference between anne frank and osama bin laden? Nothing. They were both found eventually.

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How long does it take a blonde to skrew in a light bulb? Any amount of time; given that she knows that said bulb is in need of replace meant, or that said blonde is disabled, or if you thought I would make some kind of funny blonde joke that you would tell your friend and then forget ten minutes later, only to think of it a day later and claim it as your own.

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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haha

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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Why did Billy Bob kidnap Jamal? Because he finds the African American community fascinating and is unable to start up a regular conversation due to the over-amplified stereotype that rednecks usually kidnap and/or kill black people. Therefore, kidnapping Jamal was necessary so that he could have a conversation with him about his heritage and background.

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What do you call a red light A:soon to be green

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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- what do u call a dead black person a problem - what do u call a lot of dead black people a big problem - what do you call a mass killing of all black people. genocide

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whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but so

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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