Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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Joesph Triphook.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops