One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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what has genitial warts? me

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Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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The Oakland Raiders

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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Yo mama is so fat when she went to the fat contest they said SORRY no pros alowed

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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