A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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A man died.

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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What do you call a man who beats his adopted, black children? A terrible person.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

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Why didn't the black man go to work? He had to attend his sister's funeral, who just recently passed away after her long hard battle with breast cancer.

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

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Still Carrying Heavy Pet Food? That sucks

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What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

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what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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What's more likely to happen in 2011 than the rapture? Finding my real parents.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun that was stabbed to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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