So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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What's the difference between heaven and hell? Hell likes you more.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

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Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A young black guy was explaining how he was raised by a single mother

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dickdickvdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

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Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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Knock Knock: There is no one in here! GTFO! Okay, yes sir or mam Moral: I told you there is no one here, gtfo already!

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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How do you shoot an eagle? You don't. The eagle is going too fast for you.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops