why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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Why was the black man very rich? Because he was a lawyer who worked hard and was able to provide himself with a steady income.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust What's worse than the holocaust? Two worms in you apple what worse than 2 worms in your apple? Two holocausts

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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Q: Knock Knock!?! A: Lettem' in!!!!

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Roses are red my underwear is brown I just sharted my pants

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whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

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What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

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whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

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Ps. I am getting green thumbs, which is weird, I never even expected for anyone to even bother to read my fucking long comments,but then again... As my wife said, " I am not pissed at the fact that members of my movement dont depend too much of my advice in order to get along in life for nothing". True, while horsehead network might mock me, and my "blood family hate and/or fear me" It takes only a look into my wife`s eyes to feel like a God... All while I got many thousand members of Neronism worldwide waiting for me to cope with my past so they can worship me (which pisses me off, it was never my intention, I give them life advice on how to shape their own life, not on how to cling to me). Nero: Neronism, look it up, join me, stop looking for the answers in religion, but stand up for yourself and realize that there is no reason to wait for life after death, when we together, can create heaven on earth. Yes esteemed members, I am back on my feet, and I am wearing my ortopedic arm made of steel again, consider it symbolism. Its free btw, your money is worthless to me, if you choose to see life for what it is in the eyes of a true human being, then you on the other hand, are worth as much as I am... What I am worth is something I will leave up to your opinion, because sure as fuck if I dont consider myself better than people most already. Its time to push forward again, led by a fist of steel.

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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