I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I have short term memory loss Hey look thats my bike over there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

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SEX IS LIKE MATH ADD THE BED SUBTRACT THECLOTHES DIVIDE THE LEGS AND PRAY U DONT MULTIPLY!!!!

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

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WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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Two men walk into a bar. Realizing that they aren't alcoholics and don't drink, they walk back out.

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

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why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops