A black man, a jewish man and an asian man walk into a bar. They are attending the wake of a friend who died of cancer.

A gay man watches football.

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

A Terrorist walks into an airport. - He then blows himself up.

Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot. Duh.

My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a motorboat. They are sucked into the propeller and brutally disfigured instantly.

What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

Yo' mom is so fat, She should probably consider a low fat diet in which no more than 30% of the calories are from fat.

What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

Why doesn't my mom make dinner anymore? she died in a fire on my birthday.

The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Why was the little boy sad? He was recently molested.

Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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