There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

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What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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What was so special about Anna Frank's diary? Nothing. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Women's Rights.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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EVERYONE, CREATE LOVE NOT WAR.. Between Josh and Dylan... WILD.. PASSIONATE.. LOVE!

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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why doesn't anyone like reed? who cares, no one likes reed

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How many baby's does it take to paint a wall Depends on how hard you throw them

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Lil' Johnny was happily swinging on the swings when all of a sudden...... ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> FLYING DAGGERS!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops