Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

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How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

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Refridgerator.

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why are little kids like tree's? ... they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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What happened to the boy who survived a tragic car accident?? He stepped out of the car and got hit by a semi.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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James walks into a room he then leaves as the room is full of hot women but he does not find them attractive as he has a girlfriend and is also bisexual.

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So a woman walks into a store... There's a lamp selling for $5.99. She buys it because she thinks that's a pretty good deal.

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what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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