your a vagina says you, you're a tit

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

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What did the Polack do in the rainstorm? He got wet.

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whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? one baby nailed to ten trees.

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have alziemers banana cookie!

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications/programs, thus causing the game Jetman on Facebook to lag.

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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Doctor: I'm sorry about your disease, young man. It looks like your time is up. Man: NO! How much time to I have? Doctor: Five. Man: Five years? Five months? Five weeks? Doctor: Four... Three...

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Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops