Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because he raped her

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Her frustrated farmer lured her with bread crums in hopes of retrieving his beloved chicken.

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A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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What did the downsyndrome get for christmas? Aborted

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Why did the little boy fall down the tree? He didn't. He jumped.

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My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

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Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

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Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops