justin beiber sucks

What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

Q. Pete and Repeat were sitting on a wall. Repeat fell off. Which one was left? A. Pete. Yep.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

bologna

Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

Two fish are sitting in a tank. One says, "I'll man the guns. You drive."

When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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