Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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whats worse than 100 babies strapped to an atomic bomb? 1 baby strapped to 100 atomic bombs

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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