A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which clearly underestimate the dangers of crossing a busy road.

What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

What's weird about four black men in a toilet? No one got shot.

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

Women can vote? wtf

There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

Well Erron, its your lucky day then. I wont even ask what a cream pie is.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

You say: Why did the chicken cross the road? Response: Why? (or some other answer to a different joke) You say: To get to your house! Knock, knock. Response: Who's there? You say: The CHICKEN!!!!

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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