Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

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What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

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How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops