Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

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What's up? Not the Twin Towers.

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Q: Why Did The Family Eat Olive Garden For Dinner A: Because it was a simple way to please everyone but letting them choose their own meal

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Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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What color was the black guy's skin? Brown

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops